The Mad Dater Online Dating Blog: What, Do You Think Tough Girls Don't Cry Too?

As if you care about my dating life! But since you're reading this dating blog....

Thursday, February 23, 2006
What, Do You Think Tough Girls Don't Cry Too?

Don't think that behind our tough girl image we aren't still girls. Do you think our hearts don't break also? Do you think we don't need your shoulders to cry on... too?

Behind the woman drinking shots with you, behind the woman paying for your lap dance at the strip club, behind the woman talking shit to you while beating your ass at poker is a woman who is just as vunerable as the next chick. Behind our tough girl act is still a girl who wants to be loved and cherished and told how beautiful she is like every other girl.

We lean over toilets and purge the pain like other women. We stand in the mirror and find all the little things we hate about ourselves to bear witness to the pain that we feel inside like every other woman. We drink away the pain behind smiling faces and we date men who are wrong for us. We forget to take our pills and pray that we won't be pregnant by Not The One as we stand in our bathrooms holding pee stained sticks.

Basically, we fuck up too.

We want to be the prettiest. And even when we are The Prettiest Ones we wish to be prettier, funnier, cooler, smarter, just anything more than we are now. Because like other women we think something must be missing, or our lives would be perfect. And even though others look at us and think that we have it it all under control, we know deep down that something is missing.

While we may never watch Lifetime and you'll never find us in the Chick Lit section, we worry about breast cancer and our reproductive time clocks too. And even when we say we don't want husbands and kids, sometimes we stand in line behind that shopping cart with the happy family and unruly kid who is about to steal something and secretly think, "I want that some day". But we brush those thoughts out of our minds in favor of reading the latest gossip. Because other people's problems are easier to deal with than our own.

We cry and hurt like every other girl. And I cry too. And I need that shoulder to cry on. And even when I say I am ok, I may not be. I just find it hard to ask for the things that I really want... like everyone else. Like every other woman.