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As if you care about my dating life! But since you're reading this dating blog....

Monday, December 06, 2004

My mother left without a word in the middle of the night 6 days before my junior year of college. After not speaking to my family for nearly 2.5 years, she reappeared just as mysteriously and 8 years later she still refuses to acknowledge that this ever happened. A few months ago I finally summoned up the courage to ask about “the non-discussed” and her only response to me was, “It wasn’t 2.5 years”.

At this point I would even accept that she was abducted by aliens. At least that would explain the lack of communication during those years and her "memory loss" from that time period. After all this time, I simply want her to acknowledge that the decisions she made forever changed what was once my family unit.

I write this because, it was the first thing that popped into my mind when I thought about what it was that I really wanted from “Dr. Love Bastard": some acknowledgement about “us”.

We’ve messed around (notice my use of the past tense) off and on for about 5 years. And the last year and a half was more “on” than “off”. So when he called me right before Thanksgiving, I asked him point blank, how he felt about me. His response: “Disappointed.” (Which was in reference to me not showing up as I promised)

I too was disappointed. Disappointed that this was the only response he could muster up. Disappointed that when I asked him if he had anything else to say to me he punked out and answered: “Well, if I could say anything to you, what would you want me to say?” It was then that I realized his “question-to-a-question” was the acknowledgement that I needed.

I would be lying if I said that I wasn’t a little hurt that after all this time that's all he had to say. But in a way, I’m actually happy and relieved. Because now, I won’t have to rely on my imagination to know how he feels about me. And I can stop secretly hoping that one day he would acknowledge that he needed me as more than a friend in his life. At least I can move on now…

… and move on I did….

Having not had sex in 3 months, The Mad Dater definitely needs to “Get Her Groove Back.” So what did I do this weekend? Took a trip down to the Q. MJQ that is. And It seems I haven’t lost my ability to attract new bastards....

The Mad Dater - Later kids

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