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As if you care about my dating life! But since you're reading this dating blog....

Tuesday, June 01, 2004
There Is No Cure for Crushitis 

This is an archived post. Please read my more recent posts to this dating blog

Remember when you were a kid and you had a crush on someone? Just the thought of them and your brain would smile. The least bit of acknowledgement of your existence on their part would send a hot flush through your body like inhaled exhaust fumes. You'd concoct elaborate fantasies that began the day you told them about your crush and always ended with "To be continued…" When they were near, your breathing seemed so loud you'd imagine everyone around you could hear. So you'd try your best to breath quieter, softer. But instead of composed, you looked strained, on the verge of hyperventilating. Then your crush thought you were weird because you breathed funny. Or, maybe that was just me.

Back then, you'd keep a picture of them in your wallet pretending they were your boyfriend. Or you'd write them a love note all about how you wanted to play Triple XXX or Doctor, and sign it "Your Secret Admirer". And to spend time with them, you'd happen to find said note and play Sherlock Homestress to their Dr. Watson during Recess; analyzing the handwriting with them and interviewing your list of suspects together. Knowing all the while that none would be found, since the Secret Admirer was you. Or, maybe that was just me.

As a kid, when your feelings for "The One" were too intense, you could beat them up or tease them. Or if you were lucky, you could squeeze their tushy in the coat closet. Now as an adult, you keep those feelings inside, positively sweating thoughts of them out of your pores.

If you've read this dating blog for sometime, you may have assumed that I can say just about anything to anyone. Even my friends assume this to be true. But in reality I overcompensate for my shyness by being extroverted. Yes, "Ms. Always Has Something To Say" is really just "Ms. Say Something Already".

Today I found out that someone I have/had a crush on is in a serious relationship -living with their love, engaged to their love or some other such nonsense. And while I've exiled myself to It'll Never Be Island", I'll always enjoy the secret anguish having a crush on them caused me. My brain still smiles when I think of them and you can't take that away from me....

The Mad Dater - Later kids

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