The Mad Dater Online Dating Blog: The More Personal, Introspective Mad Dater

As if you care about my dating life! But since you're reading this dating blog....

Tuesday, June 22, 2004
The More Personal, Introspective Mad Dater

This is an archived post. Please read my more recent posts to this dating blog

At 23 I was still tying to understand how a parent could leave their family without a word, as my mother had done when I was 20. At 23 I was still trying to understand how one event could change the path of your life, as mine had changed. At 23 I was still trying to understand how even with friends and family who cared, you could still feel alone.

So when Mr. 23 - "I Need Love Bastard" explained to me that his "needing to get something off his chest” simply meant he needed to talk to someone, I understood all the things he wasn't saying. In that moment I silently forgave him for not returning my phone calls. In that moment I felt compassion for him. And in that moment I knew after a good conversation, he probably needed a good "release." (I would be crass if I said, "nut" huh?! - y'all know I'm laughing right now.)

So while he was driving me home the next morning, and I was explaining how it didn't matter if I had an orgasm the night prior, it took me aback when he asked “Why are you always so nice to me?"

I wanted to say that I understood that sometimes you just need people to nice to you. I wanted to say I understood needing to have someone to talk to whose ears would be judgment free as they listened. I wanted to say I remember feeling alone and wishing I had someone who I didn’t have to "play happy" for.

I wanted to say eventually (eventually!) no matter how F'ed-up life could be sometimes, "good things eventually happen." I wanted to say you don't have to let F'ed-up situations make you become a F'ed-up individual - never stop being positive. But instead I smiled and said, "Ok, I’m just gonna be mean to you from now on."

BTW - what would a Mad Dater story be without comic relief... seems that while I was having this conversation on when orgasms are necessary, my phone dialed "Dr. Love Bastard" who recorded said conversation... to be continued….