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Diatribe of a Mad Dater - "Because there's a Bastard in all of us"

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Why All The Bastard Names?

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Girls Like you Don't Get Married
Bastards I Won't be Dating
The Threesome That Never Was
Player Pie- A Dating Recipe
Dear Condom Manufacturers
The Bastard I'll Always Love - Hip Hop
Break Up Stages
Seinfeld's "The Thing"
Bastard Affective Disorder
November Sweeps
The Oh No You Did Not Girls
The Punisher Bastard
Fiction: The Original Bastard

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Still Missing My Dad
The Night My Mother Disappeared
Now My Brother & I Don't Speak
My Mother Was a Cheater
My Dad's Funeral Was a Joke
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As if you care about my dating life! But since you're reading this dating blog....

Wednesday, March 10, 2004
Who the F*$% is This... I'm yawning, wipe the cold out my eye. See who's this [calling] me and why... Warning - NOTORIOUS BIG

Area code 205? Who do I know that reps the 205 area code? Rubin Studdard is that you? Not that I actually know Rubin or anything. Sooo digressing; need to answer this call.
The Mad Dater: "Hello"
Bastard: "Hey! What's up man? It's me ____!"
Ahh yes, It's ______ aka: "Vidal Sassoon Bastard" - who was so vain he believed, "If I didn't look good he didn't look good."

The one:
  • ...who I stayed with even thought he refused to go down on me
  • ...who forgot my birthday even though I told him the week before
  • ...who made me feel like I was in a relationship, with him with himself
  • ...who told me that my weight embarrassed him and I developed an eating disorder
  • ...who called me his ex-girlfriend's name 3 times
  • ...who told me that the only way we would get back together (after we broke up the 2nd time) was if I let him have total control... and I did
Yes, that "Vidal Sassoon Bastard" Yes, but he was also the one :
  • ...whoI dated for 9 months if ya can believe that
  • ...who's hugs I still think about when I'm feeling anxious
  • ...who was always the life of the party
  • ...who I missed so much (after we broke up the 2nd time) that I actually starting crying uncontrollably when we had make-up sex
  • ...who is incredibly handsome
  • ...who actually had the ability to make love to my brain.
Yes that "Vidal Sassoon Bastard" .
The Mad Dater: "Whoa, I can't believe it's really you"
...To Be Continued

The Mad Dater - Later kids

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