The Mad Dater online dating blog

The Mad Dater - An Online Dating Blog

Diatribe of a Mad Dater - "Because there's a Bastard in all of us"

Why Write a Dating Blog?
Why All The Bastard Names?

The Best Of The Mad Dater:
Girls Like you Don't Get Married
Bastards I Won't be Dating
The Threesome That Never Was
Player Pie- A Dating Recipe
Dear Condom Manufacturers
The Bastard I'll Always Love - Hip Hop
Break Up Stages
Seinfeld's "The Thing"
Bastard Affective Disorder
November Sweeps
The Oh No You Did Not Girls
The Punisher Bastard
Fiction: The Original Bastard

The More Introspective Mad Dater
Still Missing My Dad
The Night My Mother Disappeared
Now My Brother & I Don't Speak
My Mother Was a Cheater
My Dad's Funeral Was a Joke
The Introspective Mad Dater

Email The Mad Dater

Dating Blog Archives:

Copyright Notice:

© 2003-2010, The Mad Dater.
All written content on this blog
is copyright protected

As if you care about my dating life! But since you're reading this dating blog....

Friday, March 12, 2004
Momma Montego's Psychic Hotline 

AKA: I'm usual right about these things...
Momma Montego Says:
Me a tell you. Me have a feeling. You no want hear me "Lame Excuse Bastard"? (The bastard formerly know as: "Serve Me Well Bastard" & "Mr. Touchy-Touchy Bastard" You tink me wrong? Chu! Me a tell you something no right here. But me no know a exactly what do you so. You no want tell me. So me have to just leave it at dat. Unno want doubt me. Don't! Who feels it knows it.
Translation: "Serve Me Well Bastard" as Keith Sweat would say, "Something just ain't right" .

"Lame Excuse Bastard" called me to "Check in" (Check in: verb -To see if everything is OK after he acted like he didn't know me. Somehow I feel something isn't right; like there's something he isn't telling me. In my brain he's transforming from: "The Bastard I Could Have Eventually Seriously Dated" into a "Card Carrying member of The Bastard Club".

Anyway, I tell "Lame Excuse Bastard" that something isn't right and what does he do? He follows the same pattern all bastards follow when I'm right:
  1. The Arnold Drummond - "What You talking 'Bout Willis?" - he gets defensive.
  2. The Marting Lawrence - "You So Crazy" - he tells me that I am way off.
  3. The Mr. Spock- "This is not Logical" - He tries to use logic to diffuse my feelings.
I give ya boy the option to tell me if anything is wrong, or if there is something I should know. He's all "No...yadda...yadda"

There's no denying my feelings about things - I am right about 85% of the time. Remember when I told "No Sex In The Champagne Room Bastard" that something wasn't right? He denied it, but later I found out he was lying about the number of children that he had. Remember when I told "Oh, You Can't Call Nobody Bastard" there was something he wasn't telling me? Months later he fesses up that my girl was also trying to holla at him. (Dag I wonder what's up with that cutie? Hey if, you're reading this, holla at a playa!- as they say in the ATL... digressing).

But I can accept that I'm wrong...sometimes. I asked him "So how does it feel to be free?". He suspiciously replies, "What Do You mean?" I'm all like, "Dude relax, I was just talking about your Spring Break!"

See what I mean: something just ain't right! Or as Edie Brickell would say: "I know What I know, if you know what I mean". I'm just not wrong this time....

The Mad Dater - Later kids

Let Me Know What You Think. Leave a Comment:
Permanent Post Link |

Momma Montego's Psychic Hotline - The Mad Dater Dating Blog
New Posts From The Mad Dater