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As if you care about my dating life! But since you're reading this dating blog....

Friday, March 12, 2004
Momma Montego's Psychic Hotline 

AKA: I'm usual right about these things...
Momma Montego Says:
Me a tell you. Me have a feeling. You no want hear me "Lame Excuse Bastard"? (The bastard formerly know as: "Serve Me Well Bastard" & "Mr. Touchy-Touchy Bastard" You tink me wrong? Chu! Me a tell you something no right here. But me no know a exactly what do you so. You no want tell me. So me have to just leave it at dat. Unno want doubt me. Don't! Who feels it knows it.
Translation: "Serve Me Well Bastard" as Keith Sweat would say, "Something just ain't right" .

"Lame Excuse Bastard" called me to "Check in" (Check in: verb -To see if everything is OK after he acted like he didn't know me. Somehow I feel something isn't right; like there's something he isn't telling me. In my brain he's transforming from: "The Bastard I Could Have Eventually Seriously Dated" into a "Card Carrying member of The Bastard Club".

Anyway, I tell "Lame Excuse Bastard" that something isn't right and what does he do? He follows the same pattern all bastards follow when I'm right:
  1. The Arnold Drummond - "What You talking 'Bout Willis?" - he gets defensive.
  2. The Marting Lawrence - "You So Crazy" - he tells me that I am way off.
  3. The Mr. Spock- "This is not Logical" - He tries to use logic to diffuse my feelings.
I give ya boy the option to tell me if anything is wrong, or if there is something I should know. He's all "No...yadda...yadda"

There's no denying my feelings about things - I am right about 85% of the time. Remember when I told "No Sex In The Champagne Room Bastard" that something wasn't right? He denied it, but later I found out he was lying about the number of children that he had. Remember when I told "Oh, You Can't Call Nobody Bastard" there was something he wasn't telling me? Months later he fesses up that my girl was also trying to holla at him. (Dag I wonder what's up with that cutie? Hey if, you're reading this, holla at a playa!- as they say in the ATL... digressing).

But I can accept that I'm wrong...sometimes. I asked him "So how does it feel to be free?". He suspiciously replies, "What Do You mean?" I'm all like, "Dude relax, I was just talking about your Spring Break!"

See what I mean: something just ain't right! Or as Edie Brickell would say: "I know What I know, if you know what I mean". I'm just not wrong this time....

The Mad Dater - Later kids

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