The Mad Dater online dating blog

The Mad Dater - An Online Dating Blog

Diatribe of a Mad Dater - "Because there's a Bastard in all of us"

Why Write a Dating Blog?
Why All The Bastard Names?

The Best Of The Mad Dater:
Girls Like you Don't Get Married
Bastards I Won't be Dating
The Threesome That Never Was
Player Pie- A Dating Recipe
Dear Condom Manufacturers
The Bastard I'll Always Love - Hip Hop
Break Up Stages
Seinfeld's "The Thing"
Bastard Affective Disorder
November Sweeps
The Oh No You Did Not Girls
The Punisher Bastard
Fiction: The Original Bastard

The More Introspective Mad Dater
Still Missing My Dad
The Night My Mother Disappeared
Now My Brother & I Don't Speak
My Mother Was a Cheater
My Dad's Funeral Was a Joke
The Introspective Mad Dater

Email The Mad Dater

Dating Blog Archives:

Copyright Notice:

© 2003-2010, The Mad Dater.
All written content on this blog
is copyright protected

As if you care about my dating life! But since you're reading this dating blog....

Tuesday, March 16, 2004
Daddy I Just Want To Unwrap One Toy 

Paul, remember when you said that men said, "Shouldn't a man have his own (condom's) that fit?". Well this is for you...

I arrived all giddy at the door of "Dr. Love Bastard" with my "Toy Chest" begging to be opened. We Chit-Chat (Chit-Chat: noun - idle chatter that will segue to sex) for about an hour, when he goes to take a shower. His taking a shower is usually my signal to hop in bed!

I jump in bed thinking, "Maybe I should whip out the new handcuffs now?" But after lying there naked and handcuffed to the bed, I think he's more the "Wrongly Incarcerated Criminal to my Bad Prison Warden. So I uncuff myself and wait impatiently for the moment when I can use them.

"Dr. Love Bastard" gets out of that shower, and believe me all Chit-Chat ceased and he "broke me off proper like" (As they say in the hood)! "Dr. Love Bastard" definitely showed me his creative side that night ...digressing.

So I'm thinking with the First Round (First Round: noun - the quickie a man needs to release that tension) out of the way, I can't wait to bring out the toys in Round Two (Round Two: noun - The long haul round aka: I got something to prove round on ya a$$ round). But then what do I hear? What phrase can make a woman angry when she hasn't had an orgasm yet?
"Too Bad I'm out of condoms"
See Paul, this is why a girl's gotta be prepared. And I didn't even get a chance to break in my new toys while getting broken off.

The Mad Dater - Later kids

Let Me Know What You Think. Leave a Comment:
Permanent Post Link |

Daddy I Just Want To Unwrap One Toy - The Mad Dater Dating Blog
New Posts From The Mad Dater