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As if you care about my dating life! But since you're reading this dating blog....

Wednesday, February 11, 2004
Night Of The Living Ex-Bastards 

If I had just stayed in recovery, none of this would have ever happened.

It seems that The Gods of Bastardry are punishing me for sneaking out of Bastard Addiction Recovery to hang out with "Serve Me Well Bastard". The day after hanging out with him 3 Ghosts of Bastards Past came to haunt me.

"Stevie Wonder Bastard" and I decided to go have a final drink at the place where it all started between us: East Side Lounge. Alright, Ok, maybe WE didn't so much decide; maybe it was more like me backsliding and calling him. (See it's actions like this, that let me know that I need to stay in recovery longer.)

So I dialed, he answered, he said "yes", we met, he bullish$!ed, I got frustrated, he drove me to MJQ, and I left his car when he said "so are you saying that we should get back together?"

Hello, Earth to Dumb A$$, I don't want to get back with you. I just want you to admit that you broke up with me for no other reason than to have me beg you to come back. But since the plan didn't work and I haven't asked for us to get back together, admit that you regret your decision.... 'tis all.

I was all pissed when I walk into MJQ, but two Mandarin and tonics later with thoughts of that bastard gone I was ready to dance on. Even though King Britt was DJing, the music was weak, so I get on the stage to scan the scene (AKA: check for cuties). Not a minute later the last bastard on earth that I wanted to see comes up behind me. I'm afraid to even write his name here for fear he will take this as a sign to contact me. Well damn, here it goes.... (Queue scary music and scream) Yes, friends it was "No Sex In The Champagne Room Bastard" .

This ghost of my Bastard Past tapped me on my shoulder, he said "hey", I said "hey" and he went back to dance with his busted date. No I'm not being petty here by calling her "busted" - girl was beat up. Doesn't it just warm your heart to know that to know that you look better than the date your EX is with? (My Milkshake's better honey!) Don't act like you don't either. I know we've all experienced it and though "Oh look who's slumming now!" LOL

You would think that was the worst Bastard that I could run into.... but no, the Original Bastard of My Past is back: "Vidal Sassoon Bastard" . Only Witchy Woman knows who this Bastard is, since it's one of her friends and he pre-dates this dating blog.

Why the name "Vidal Sassoon Bastard"? Well he was so vain believed, "If I didn't look good he didn't look good. Yes, the Trilogy of Bastardy ended with me running into his brother in my complex. Man he pulled a number on my ego and psyche (I even doubted my cute-appeal after dating him. Thank God it's back!)... I don't even know how I'll react if I do speak to him...

I'm going back into recovery.

The Mad Dater - Later kids

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