As if you care about my dating life! But since you're reading this dating blog....

Friday, February 27, 2004
I Need Some Variety! 

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An open letter to Condom Manufacturers:

To Whom It May Concern,

I have a dilemma that I'm sure is shared by many single women having sex: I need to restock my condom supply. ( You know a woman's gotta be prepared!) So I know you're thinking, "no problem just go to the store and pick up some". Ahh, it's not so simple.

Believe me it's not because I'm embarrassed to buy them. I'm long past the buying condoms and "something else" stage. My problem is a matter of size. While ladies do love a "Magnum Man" those guys are few and far between. You gotta be prepared for the "Average Joe' and the "Tiny Tim" or two (or 3 or 4).

Let's face it, nothing can make a guy's ego and "super-ego" deflate faster than being handed a condom that is too big. What "Tiny Tim" wouldn't be intimidated by knowing the ghosts of your past have really "plummeted into your depths", as he tries to pretend that that Magnum won't fall off!.

My problem is that I don't want to buy multiple boxes of condoms; who does? You bring that armful to the counter and the sales clerk is gonna be giving you the "She must have a whole lotta fun (emphasis on HO) smile. Either that or they'll think you're going on Spring Break to Mexico. Which is embarrassing when you are way past the Spring Breaker target age. ( My Spring Breaker days are long gone, believe me.)

So here's my plea to condom makers: Please make a Single Lady's Variety Pack. It's not like variety is a problem for you guys. You already have ribbed, tipped, flavored, long last (you might as well add leaded and unleaded). So is a variety pack so much to ask for?

Miss Unprepared
The Mad Dater

BTW - if anyone does know where to get a Variety Pack from, let me know. I am preparing for a record breaking Spring.

The Mad Dater - Later kids

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