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As if you care about my dating life! But since you're reading this dating blog....

Tuesday, January 20, 2004
The Bastard Primaries 

This just in...

The Bastard Daily News: Political Edition
Atlanta, Ga. - (AP) In a move that has surprised all pundits, The I-Three's (The Mad Dater's Inner Voices - IGGy, ISSy, and IVOR) are considering admiting two new members to The Inner Realm of The Mad Dater. Our sources have revealed that the move by The I-Three's to admit The Mad Dater to Bastard Addiction Recovery (B.A.R.), was simply a rouse to incapacitate her so that new voices could be added to her inner dialog while in recovery.

Extreme measures are nothing new to The I-Three's. As many readers may recall, it was only a few months ago that this newspaper broke the story on The Kidnapping of The Mad Dater by The I-Three's when they realized that being with "No Sex In The Champagne Room Bastard" was a mistake. We now see that the kidnapping incident didn't have much effect on our heroine, as she still entered into The Relationship known as: The Couple Gang. (As reported by this newspaper in October.)

The I-Three's have long entertained adding an additional voice to the Inner Realm of The Mad Dater. But having to deal with all The Mad Dater's issues, had left them little time for anything else. However, over the last few days, The I-Three's have been in negotiations with both The INL ( I Need Love) Party and The IDGAF (I Don't Give a Fu#$ Party); setting off speculation that a change was in the making. One Inner Voice who refused to be identify told our reporter, "Obviously more needed to be done to keep The Mad Dater from settling down and the I-Three's just didn't have the balls to do it alone."

It is a well known fact that both parties had been hoping that The I-Three would admit another member to The Inner Realm , ever since it was revealed that it was IGGy's (Inner Good Girl) plan all along to get The Mad Dater into The Couple Gang. Our reporters have received a copy of this confidential memo, detailing plans for a secret meeting between The I-Three's dating back to September that not only mentionsThe Couple Gang, but also discusses plans about getting The Mad Dater, to open herself up to Love.

The two members of The Inner Voices being considered are:
  • Inner Loving Lady (ILLy) representing The INL : While she has no experience in Bastard Hunting, she had been speculated to be the best addition to The I-Three's because of her "Let's all place nice" platform. Some speculate that she will never be admitted because she is seen as basically IGGy-lite. It was well known that if she is not admitted to The Inner Realm soon, she is finished politically.

  • Inner Fu%$ This (IFTy), representing The IDGAF: While the early front runner for her Anti-Couple Gang stance from the beginning, her popularity has fallen because she has said too many things that have needed to be retracted. Then again, this should be of no surprise since her motto is: "F$C% This!"
Sources close to The I-Three's tell us that both will be admitted because The I-Three's can't come up with a cool name for a group of four. The new name for the group of five Inner Voices is said to be: The Inner Four Plus One More.

The Mad Dater could not be reached for comment.

The Mad Dater - Later kids

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