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As if you care about my dating life! But since you're reading this dating blog....

Monday, December 22, 2003
The Nerve! 

So my horoscope at Free Will Astrology reads:

What symbolic items might inspire you to take maximum advantage of the cosmic currents in 2004? I've decided on three things: 1. binoculars, which I hope will encourage you to constantly seek closer looks at distant sights; 2. mountain-climbing equipment, which I hope will encourage you to spend more time outside, get naturally high, and look at the world from lofty perspectives; 3. lightweight, quick-drying, anti-bacterial underwear designed to be washed every night as you travel. I hope they'll encourage you to leave behind heavy baggage and complicated expectations as you make frequent forays out of your comfort zone.
Hmm... Mad Dater translation: Girl get you some new stiletto boots. While ya at Phipps stop into Intimacy of Atlanta . Also, get some new contact lenses to see Bastards across a bar better. And hey, why not complicate matters and give this whole Online Dating thing a real whirl. (Hey don't ask anything abou how my synapses work, that's just how they add things up...)

... So I've joined Nerve.com's Personals. Witchy Woman had sent me an article from them a few weeks ago called "Die Metrosexual Die!" by Matt Haber because it reminded us of a bastard we knew and I joined after that. Why join? Why not, "I haven't dated all the bastards yet"! But we have two problems...

Problem #1: I need a picture. I've needed a digital picture of myself for a while. (Digital? I still wish I had my Nikon FE2) As luck would have it Big Brother B said that he would send me A Good Picture of myself from the party at SupaFly Sis's . Ok A Good Picture - I'm thinking dimple showing, proper ratio of lips to teeth, skin glowing etc... But obviously A Good Picture to a man means BOOBS . Wowzers- I look like Busty McBosom in that pic. Granted the Wonder Twins haven't filled a wine glass since fifth grade, I didn't realize that upon closer inspection they were Big Gulps. No wonder Baking Bastard kept asking me to take my coat off at that party. Ok, so this picture will definitely get me a response. But I'm not quite sure I want a "Damn, girl! Dem's der some big'un's" response. So I still need a pic...

Problem #2:Two dudes have even sent me "winks" already. A "wink" is when someone sees your profile and they want you to read theirs before deciding of you're interested. I know doesn't seem like a problem, eh? So I tried to respond, but there's something about credits. Now while I would love to tie a bow around these bastards and put them under my bush (I mean tree), these gifts will have to wait until after Christmas when momma's got some extra money!

The Mad Dater - Later kids

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