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As if you care about my dating life! But since you're reading this dating blog....

Thursday, December 11, 2003
The Bastard's Back! 

When we last left our villain, "No Sex In The Champagne Room Bastard", he was sending cryptic emails and crazy poems to our heroine- The Mad Dater. (See: You Know They Come Back... They Always Do... )In an effort to spread peace on earth, extend goodwill to all Bastards and the rest of that holiday greeting card crap, I invited him to come to one of the soft opening party dinners with me at The Hottest Restaurant In Atlanta That Hasn't Opened Yet (even if it is in Buckhead). "Danger Will Rogers! Danger!"

First of all, when ya boy got on the phone, there was a short pause after he realized whose voice it was. See this is one of those times to hate Caller ID- because it only told him the number. Don't you just hate it when you're like "Oh I know that number, let me pick it up" only to realize that it's some bastard on the other end that you didn't want to speak to. In this case I was the Bastard.

Well the minute he got on the phone it was "Punch & Judy" Atlanta Style all over again. (Though if it was really Atlanta Style - it would be called "Bobby & Witney") He told me how he's been reading the site (I knew that dude, ever heard of web stats?). Told me how he "sends people 'excerpts' of this site" . Knowing his track record with originality (His definition of Original: taking someone one else's ideas and putting his mark on them. That's like saying that "Love Don't Cost A Thing" is original and not simply a big rip off of "Can't Buy Me Love" ) I asked him to just send them the link. I guess I should think of it as flattering...

Needless to say, he went on to sound off about the site. About how I twist the facts around in his opinion. How I don't know what I want. How mad (read: jealous) this site made him. How neurotic I am. (I thought Neurotic went out in the eighties - I thought people just called you a "Crazy A$$ Biatch!" these days. Then again what do I know, I'm neurotic!) How I'm confused and I get rid of people too quickly.

Well as I told the dude the day he rolled up on me and gave me his number, I get bored easily. If he didn't bore me maybe we'd still be together. However I put them, the facts are still the facts (ask any reality show producer about that if you don't understand). And if your getting "mad" about the life of an "ex" then maybe he's the neurotic one.

After getting off the phone, I decided that I'm not sure that I wanted to spend 2 hours over a gorgeous dinner with that Bastard - I'll just have to spread goodwill in some other way. How 'bout a gift certificate to Micky D's?

The Mad Dater - Later kids

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