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As if you care about my dating life! But since you're reading this dating blog....

Wednesday, November 19, 2003
"Well Girls Like you Don't Get Married...." 

This is an archived post. Please read my more recent posts to this dating blog

Hmm.... Girls like me... Well girls like me read Sassy and collected Spy . We acted stupid because we were smarter. We watched 20/20 (before it became a fluff piece) and dreamt of being researchers. We were the "Best Friends" because we hadn't learned the power in lipstick or a well placed double entendre yet. But as the smarter ones, we were really gathering research for the future. Information on things like the joys of John Madden Football and NBA Jams, how to beat match on turntables, what exactly a "phat ass" was and how to spot one.

The "Girly" girls like you who debated such things as: "Claudia vs. Naomi" and other pressing Super-model issues looked down on us for "always hanging out with the boys". Then you wondered why your boyfriends WERE always hanging out with us and why they laughed with us and only groped you. Suddenly the sound of our un-ladylike laughter (snorts and guffaws) became a threat.

See your boyfriends admire our ability to throw on jeans and a beat up T-shirt and still look cute. Our ability to watch countless hours of video-game re-matches and debate the merits of DreamCast vs. Play Station 2 (ahh poor DreamCast). They love that we can discuss why Patrick Ewing would never wear a championship ring and why Chris Webber will forever say "dough" when he looks back at his college years. They love that we know all of Biggie's words and not just "One More Chance" . They love that we've seen King of New York and know all the styles in The Five Deadly Venoms. They loved that we realize the beauty of a simple phrase like Conan's: "Arrg Wench" or why with all the technological advances that we have these days, they still don't have enough technology to make a Silver Surfer movie.

And then girls like me started reading Jane, Marie Claire and Lucky and realized that there was plenty'o power in 3 inch heels, so we never stopped wearing them. That lipstick wielded in the right shade could stop a man dead in his tracks. And damn if we don't look good in a dress. And damn if those same guy friends haven't noticed, and actually hold a door open for us when we do. And damn if they haven't started spending less time with you and have started to wonder aloud why they can't have a girlfriend like us ... and why not us. And damn if you haven't told your boyfriends to stop hanging out with us because you sense the danger in girls like me who can talk about sex without blushing and know that sex doesn't equal love, just a good time.

So girls like you are the First Wives who end up on Oprah because you're lives were unfulfilled...and girls like me? Yes we do get married... when we're finished having our fun.

The Mad Dater - Later kids

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