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As if you care about my dating life! But since you're reading this dating blog....

Monday, November 03, 2003
The Pepsi Challenge 

In Mad Dater Years, two months in a relationship is a lifetime. It's usually about this time that I find some silly reason to break up with someone- like I can't stand the way they eat, or I can't stand some piece of clothing they wear... OK I'm kidding... well at least about the clothing thing. I agree with The Pimpstress when she wrote, "monogamy equals monotony", so why did I join the Couple Gang? Jeez I don't know! Now it's like The Hard Artist said, I'm just becoming "The Mad Girlfriend"... and speaking of being mad...

So I get up on Sunday morning (more like evening), and the first thought in my head was,"God, please don't let me have a hang over today!" (Does God take those requests? Then again, he does take Shout-out's from rappers so who knows...digressing) Well the next thought was the answer to the question, "If I never saw "Stevie Wonder Bastard" again how would I feel?" I would miss him. But what could I do now? I did just go on a date with someone else. I believe that that is Commandment #1 of The Couple Gang Commandments: Though Shall Not Dateth Others. There's no way that I couldn't tell him. (I swear if someone creates Conscience Be-Gone, I'll be the first buyer.. Lili any plans?) I could just not tell him, but I wanted to tell him. He did tell me on Monday that he could see that I was struggling with this whole relationship thing. Ouch too many thoughts for now... I still had plenty more Avoidance Hours left anyway. Plus I had to get ready for the Cherrywine show.

Well I got a quick drink at Dark Horse Tavern (what a cutie pie that bartender Crispen is I even remember when he worked at Nomenclature). Since "One Bastard Of An Ex" and The Wedding Planner still hadn't called me back I had Cripsen call me a cab and headed to the show by myself. OK it was canceled- but it was Sunday so I figured that I would at least go to Carpe Diem and hang out a bit. But who could I find to avoid my man.. I mean hang out with? I called "Where'd You Get That Bastard", but he was still recovering and in need of rest from last night. I even tried "Bastard From the Past" - no luck he was out of town. And no, I didn't call "Stevie Wonder Bastard"... though I should have. So I decided to just call it a night.

But it was such a beautiful night that I told the cabbie to pull over at the Zesto's in L5P and I would just walk home. Quietly I was hoping I'd see "Stevie Wonder Bastard" at L5P Pizza. I get out the cab and hand the driver some money and go to cross the street. And what should be the only car on the road driving up to the corner? Yes, it was l "Stevie Wonder Bastard" in his red truck. I mean I can't make this up. If it happened in a movie the audience would boo calling it contrived - but this is what happened. He's like, "Wanna ride?" I mean how freakish is that? And even more freakish- how 'bout he was on his way to my house?
"Thumpitty, thumpitty, thump/guilty little hearts go a -thumping"
- From the soon to be released, country music classic in the making: "You Done Him Wrong".

OK, so I told ya boy. His response? Quick Quiz: How Did "Stevie Wonder Bastard" Respond To The Mad Dater?
A: Pimp slapped her while yelling, "Bitch Betta Have My Money!"
B: Fell out into a fit of laughter
C: Immediately broke up with her and said, "I never want to see you again."

If you picked A, you need to stop watching so many Blacksploitation Flicks and put down The Power Fist Pick.... I repeat put down the pick If you picked C, you need to stop watching Days Of Our Lives (But if you are watching, let me know what's up "..shhh don't tell nobody!"), And if you picked B, you'd be just as shocked as me to find out that this was his reaction.

OK, he really started laughing at me and calling me a silly girl. Then ya man had jokes. Top two jokes from "Stevie Wonder Bastard":
1. "Oh you went out and took The Pepsi Challenge. I guess you figured out that you had The Right One Baby" (Should have never told him that I thought that I thought about him the entire time)
2. "I better hurry back from the bathroom, you might date someone else"
Craziest part of that he told me he knew I would do this, he was just waiting for it to happen. But all is all, he was cool about it. We even ended up going to Carpe Diem. Ahh... it all seems too good to be true... he seems too good to be true...

The Mad Dater - Later kids

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