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As if you care about my dating life! But since you're reading this dating blog....

Friday, November 07, 2003
Alex and The "Oh No You Didn't" Girls 


This is an archived post. Please read my more recent posts to this dating blog


6:00 PM....

So I wiped my glazzies and asked Bog to help me forget the old bastard Vick. I made up my rassoodocks to enjoy the full moon tomorrow Noochy and maybe partake of the Old Ultra Violent....*

30 Minutes Earlier....

Tick, tick, tick... tick, tick, tick... time moves slower out here in Alpharetta. Maybe all the technology companies mess up the clocks out here in the Silicon Valley of the south. Or maybe, time moves slower when you're waiting for a bastard to show up and feeling impending disappointment.

So it's 5:30 and the phone rings. Yippee "Stevie Wonder Bastard" is here. I was so wrong to doubt him.... "Hey I'm on my way!" . Take a deep breath girl, do not go off on him; there's probably a good reason why he isn't there yet. BUT, Atlantan's know if someone hasn't already left Atlanta to get to Alpharetta on a Friday they're not getting there until maybe 7:30. So this excuse can't be that good. Obvious response from me, "What?!" My real obvious response should have been: "Mother F*#&$ you are not on your way?! You never wanted to come in the first place. You really are a Freaking Bastard!". Well, I harness in my Inner B*#&$ and take another moment to breath and remain calm. Then he asks The Dumb- A$$-You-Must-Really-Want Me-To-Get-Mad Question: "Do you still want me to come?"
I'd like to introduce you to my back-up singers: The "Oh No You Didn't Girls" - ladies sing the chorus for these readers one time: "Oh, no he didn't!".
So I tell him to forget coming to pick me up. You would think that he'd be happy to be off the hook. You would think! But oh no! Ya man starts to tell me that he's stuck in traffic on Piedmont Road (Piedmont road is SO not close to Alphatetta) HE wants know why am I changing HIS plans now?
Ladies can I get the chorus again: "Oh, No he didn't".
He wants to know why am I not appreciating THE FAVOR he's doing for me?
I'm gonna need a little more power on the 'no' ladies: "Oh, NO he didn't!"
My bad, I didn't think that it was such a freaking big deal to help ya girl.. my bad. Then ya man curses at me
Ladies hit me with the chorus again. Only this time extra loud and throw a little Ricki Lake attitude into it: "OH, NOOOOOOO HE DI - INT!"
So I end the conversation. I was so mad I started to cry. (So unlike me... but then again this whole Couple Gang thing is so unlike me.) But it's OK Kids... see The Mad Dater keeps her heart packed and ready to go like luggage. That way, I can exit at a moment's notice with my feelings intact. I guess it's like mom said - don't give away anything you can't live without...

*From the NADSAT Language created in A Clockwork Orange

The Mad Dater - Later kids

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