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As if you care about my dating life! But since you're reading this dating blog....

Friday, September 26, 2003

This is an archived post. Please read my more recent posts to this dating blog

This dish was created as especially for The Pimpstress - enjoy sweetie.

PLAYER PIE - A Dating Recipe

PREP TIME: A few years
TOTAL TIME: Your whole life or until you give up and just get cats
In Atlanta, this recipe, known as Playa Pie, is made with men and women, it is equally delicious and more versatile when prepared with both men and women. And it's great for a Friday night meal because The Playa can marinate all day while and play all night.
  • 1 cup EMOTION divided (1/3 reserved for break-ups and make-ups)

  • 2 MEN + 2 WOMEN - if making Playa Pie (These can be modified according to taste.)

  • 1 Confident CHEF, whose inward stunning-ness flows to all they encounter. (Leave SKIN intact - A THICK-SKINNED CHEF is a must)

  • 1 "I know you think I look cute in this" OUTFIT (SLEEVES are optional - though HEARTS ON SLEEVES have been know to complicate the dish.)

  • 4 tablespoons HEART

  • 3 teaspoons SARCASM

  • 2 pinches NERVES OF STEEL (if in short supply, ALCOHOL may be substituted)

  • 1/4 teaspoon I GOTTA GET MINE

  • 1/8 teaspoon YOU GOTTA GET YOURS

  • 2 pounds HONESTY

  • Garnish: A SENSE OF HUMOR
Note: Although men are my preferred main ingredient , this recipe can work extremely well with women in a dish, as long as the woman is mentally stable.

  1. Combine the sarcasm, heart, nerves of steel and 1/3 cup of emotion. Cover the Chef with the outfit making sure not to bruise the skin. Marinate the Chef for a while.

  2. When thoroughly marinated the Chef is ready to cook. You will know the Chef is ready to cook when they have a low fear of rejection, believe in their ability to get what their heart desires and are ready to learn from the experiences where they fail. Although the additional of alcohol can speed up the marinating time, it is best left out of the dish as the Chef may have a false sense of being prepared to cook.

  3. Now it is time to cook the DISHES. Put two pots on two burners. (Add an additional pot and burner if preparing Playa Pie.) Place 1 man in each pot. Make sure to use separate pots - as two men in one pot could cause confusion.. (Add 1 woman to the additional pot if preparing Playa Pie - both women should not be prepared at the same time as women can sense when another Dish is being prepared by their Chef). While it is recommended that you work 1 man at a time by conventional cook books - The Mad Dater recommends having many fires going at once. This ensures that is one fire goes out or 1 dish gets spoiled there is a backup and the Chef is never left hungry. NEVER leave the fire unattended as it could either go out or end up burning the Chef later on.

  4. This recipe works best if prepared alone by the Chef, but will also work if there is an Assistant Chef (AKA -Wingman). Caution: When using an Assistant, the Chef must remember to remind the Assistant, that they are just an assistant. There's nothing like preparing a good meal and having to worry about your assistant butting in or messing up the Dish.

  5. Now it's time to add the key ingredient to the DISH , The Honesty. This is the most important part of the recipe. It is essential that the Chef is Honest with themselves about the TYPE of DISH that they are trying to make.

    • If it is just a QUICK BITE, then make it so. Do not try to make a FULL MEAL out of a QUICK BITE as this has been known to cause heartburn.

    • If you are preparing this dish as a FULL MEAL, you must make sure that the Dish is properly prepared. It is at this time that you may have to turn off the other Burners as is almost impossible for the Chef to devote their full attentions to more than one FULL MEAL at a time. to get burned.

    • Always prepare the Dish for what is to come. As surprise Additions to the Stove are usually not welcome.

    • Should a DISH require that Other Burners be turned off or require an EXCESSIVE amount of ATTENTION, it is time for the CHEF to decide of this DISH is really worth making.

    • Remember, if the CHEF and the DISH know what to expect no one will feel used.

  6. Transfer the best of the DISHES to a low burner and let it simmer as you sample the other DISHES.

SERVE with the I GOTTA GET MINE and the YOU GOTTA GET YOURS sprinkled on top.

Garnish liberally with a SENSE OF HUMOR - you must be able to laugh at yourself or you will not be able to prepare this DISH..


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